COLUMN: Houston Team Syndrome-- is your franchise afflicted?

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by Chris Rodgers

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They have been called the deepest and most talented team in professional football. Yet, conversely, they are annually labelled as underachievers and chokers. Arguably, they also have the ugliest team colors in the NFL: Columbian (light) blue, red and white. By now you know that I am referring to football's Houston Oilers.

If you watched the first round of the AFC playoffs last year, the following might sound familiar to you:

1. "There's NO WAY they can lose; they're murdering the Bills!"

2. "They should call this game off at halftime!"

3. "Where's the damn beer?!?"

4. "What time will the Oilers play next Sunday?"

5. Infamous jinx: "Barring a major act of God, the Oilers will defeat the Bills and advance to the next round of the AFC playoffs." (NBC's Bob Costas at halftime)

6. Famous last words: "Who in the hell is this Frank Reich guy--doesn't he suck?" (Oiler's defense)

Unfortunately for Houston's beleaguered band of followers, the Oilers once again found a way to lose, despite having a 32-point third-quarter cushion.

Furthermore, backup quarterback Reich of the Bills not only managed to beat the Oilers, he put the game in the record books by engineering the greatest comeback in NFL playoff history.

Soon after the loss, it was rumored that the Houston Police Department seriously considered altering the color scheme of its patrol cars.

Houston Team Syndrome (HTS) had struck again.

For those not familiar with area sports, HTS is a condition which afflicts all of Houston's professional sports teams. It is a chronic illness that reaches its most deadly form when playoff time rolls around. Hints of an infected franchise might become noticeable earlier in the season as, for example, in a loss to a last-place divisional rival.

No club in Houston is immune: the Rockets, Astros and Oilers have never won their league's championship.

Twice the Rockets have made the NBA finals only to lose to their opponents, most recently to the Boston Celtics 4-2 in a six-game series during the 1986 season.

Twice the Astros have played for baseball's National League Pennant and lost, narrowly missing a World Series berth.

However, the Astros have not won the National League East (thus advancing to baseball's postseason) enough times to truly demonstrate the dangerous effects HTS has on a Houston playoff team.

Of the three, the Oilers take the cake in playoff futility. Their season-ending defeat at the hands of the Buffalo Bills was merely a continuation of a long and not-so-illustrious history in playoff disappointment.

Three times in the last 13 years Houston has lost in the first round of the playoffs ('80, '89, '90).

For the Oilers, getting over that first round postseason hump is no guarantee of further playoff victory. Twice Houston has reached the second round of the AFC playoffs only to wilt against their divisional foes ('87, '88).

The third round of the AFC's playoffs has been equally unkind to oilman Bud Adam's franchise. Twice, the Oilers have played in the AFC championship game ('79 and '80), only to lose their chances for a Super Bowl bid in both seaons to their bitter and very lucky Pittsburgh rivals.

Could it possibly get any worse? Yes. Continuing this terrible trend, the 1991 and 1992 postseasons were witness to the most disappointing and heartbreaking defeats in the franchise's history.

After almost losing to the underdog Jets at the Dome in the 1991 AFC Wildcard game, the Oilers played the Denver Broncos at Mile High Stadium. Despite leading 21-13 at halftime, Houston managed only a field goal in the second half and eventually fell to the rallying Broncos 26-24.

We already know what happened in the 1992 playoffs. No need to waste a bullet on a dead horse. Perhaps this little history lesson will help explain to the average reader the caustic nature of the Oiler's followers toward their beloved football team.

Such criticism would be unheard of in any other city that had a football franchise which has gone to the playoffs for six straight seasons.

Just remember a few things about the Oilers:

1. They are the football team that Houston fans hate to love

2. They have never been to a #$@%ing Superbowl

3. NEVER, EVER change the channel of your television or leave at halftime

The Oilers have been good, damn good at times, but never seem to be able to elevate their game to the next level required to go the distance. I could call it a curse, or simply chalk it up as bad luck. I would rather call it choking since fate and bad luck, when put together, spell eternal doom for a football team.

Since I am an Oilers fan and we are an optimistic lot by nature, I can ignore their bleak history and look on the preseason as a springboard to Superbowl glory. And while the 1993-1994 Oiler's schedule might have sobering effects on my naivete, you can still expect to find me wearing my Warren Moon jersey and fitted Houston cap, singing "LUV YA BLU" on Sunday afternoons this fall.

Hopefully, I will not be alone.

Chris Rodgers is a freshman at Lovett College.

This item appeared in the Sports section of the September 3, 1993 issue.

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