COLUMN: Football gods create mayhem for Houston Oilers offense
I am referring, of course, to Houston's one point loss to the San Diego Chargers on a last-second field goal by John Carney. (Huh...huh...hey Beavis, isn't that how the Oilers always lose?)
The scenario has become all-too-familiar. The script is the same one which has propelled the Oilers to six straight years of playoff near-misses and disappointments.
Houston has a lead going into the waning moments of the contest only to allow the opposing team's quarterback the opportunity to drive the length of the field.
Some no-name, washed-up soccer player then makes a field goal or a free agent receiver who was cut in the preseason by the New England Patriots makes a touchdown catch.
In fact, it is my personal theory that the Oilers are the nicest football team in the league.
Their inability to put a team away adds drama to games that otherwise would have been boring blowouts or relatively easy wins.
Houston provides an important service to the NFL as the Oilers' schedule accounts for at least 50 percent of the league's come-from-behind victories every year. In their history, the Oilers are zero for infinity in such contests.
It would be un-Oilerish for Houston to visit another NFL franchise without giving them a chance for a comeback victory.
Houston Oiler etiquette demands that the defense allow an opposing offense the opportunity to be immortalized on national television with fourth-quarter heroics.
A televised game is an important provision because that way everybody and their grandmomma knows just how nice the Oilers have been.
However, Houston's 18-17 loss last Sunday to the Chargers in Jack Murphy Stadium was not entirely the defense's fault.
In truth, the score would probably have been a lot worse if Buddy Ryan's boys had not held the San Diego offense to just six field goals off of five offensive (read: Warren Moon) turnovers.
Moreover, it was Oiler cornerback, Darryll Lewis, who finally put Houston in the lead with a 47-yard touchdown return after an interception.
In the last two games before the Chargers, the Oiler defense has not allowed a touchdown, but has scored two of its own from forced turnovers.
Surprising as it may seem, it was the Oilers' offense which sputtered to a screeching halt on Sunday while the defense played some inspired, tough football.
Wait a minute. Did I just say "inspired" and "Oilers' defense" in one sentence?
The football gods must be crazy because I saw things in the Houston versus San Diego game which are sure signs of an approaching Apocalypse.
Even the toughest, most loyal of Oilers fans (yours truly included) could not deny their bewilderment or the possibility of divine intervention after witnessing:
1. Warren Moon throwing four interceptions, two in each half, and creating a fumble on a bad handoff.
2. Warren Moon being BENCHED in the second half in favor of back-up Cody Carlson. I thought that this would not happen in my lifetime! Moon had not played very well (read: he sucked pretty damn bad), but he is, after all, Warren Moon.
3. The Oilers still being in the game despite five turnovers. Hey folks, any real offense could have scored at least one measly TD after getting the ball on their opponent's 20-yard line on more than one occasion. But we're talking about San Diego. Instead, the Chargers had to settle for five field goals. The score should have been more like 38-17. Give the lion's share of the credit to Houston's defense.
4. Haywood Jeffires being robbed of a gorgeous touchdown reception. He was in the corner of the endzone on a critical third-and-goal play, and the side official said he was out of bounds.
The TV replay and newspaper pictures show that he was obviously in-bounds. It is my guess that the official was blinded by the chalk that Jeffires' dragging foot kicked up.
5. Houston kicker Al DelGreco actually hitting a field goal on fourth down with the lead on the line in the fourth quarter.
6. The Oilers actually leading the game 17-15 in the fourth quarter despite their offense's turnovers and inability to score. Actually, it should have been 21-15. Give some credit for this to the zebras who took Jeffires' TD away and forced the Oilers to kick a field goal. Give the rest to the Oilers' defense which scored a touchdown and held the Chargers in check.
7. The Charger's pee-wee league offense coming to life and driving 75 yards into field goal range against an Oilers' defense which had stuffed it all day. It was the only time that the Chargers scored in the game without getting a turnover!
The capricious football gods have once again robbed the Oilers of victory. It is no mere coincidence that the offense collapsed when the defense finally put everything together.
All of the puzzle pieces were in place except for the one -- Warren Moon -- who the Oilers needed the most. He probably played the worst football game of his illustrious, and often brilliant, career.
The results from the game illustrate a little known postulate of Houston Oilers football known as Murphy's Law of Offense and Defense.
It simply states: "In any football contest involving the Oilers, only one unit, offensive or defensive, may play at a satisfactory level. The other unit will play poorly, choke and cause a detrimental effect to the team's status."
Last week's game boils down to one thing, sports fans: TURNOVERS.
Momma always said that a football team won't win if it coughs up the pigskin, and she always knows best when it comes to football and life.
This item appeared in the Sports section of the September 24, 1993 issue.
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