The Potatoe Patch brings country cookin' a bit closer to Houston

RATING: * * * *

by David Gordon

From the first moment you walk into the Potatoe Patch, you'll wonder what this place is doing near Houston and not somewhere rural. The decor looks straight out of the '70s. The chairs have wheels, and you eat at enormous oak tables. Most of the clientele have their names printed on the front of their shirts. However, you don't make a trip to the "Patch" for the ambiance: You go for the food.

Eating is an experience at the Patch. How many restaurants have you gone to where they simply give you food, whether you order it or not? All-you-can-eat appetizers include fried green tomatoes, fried okra and any other vegetable that can be fried (disclaimer: don't come within 10 miles of this place if you are watching your cholesterol).

But the appetizers are only the beginning; the highlight of any trip to the Patch is Tony. Tony brings fresh rolls straight out of the ovens right to your table. The rolls are so good, you may end up scalding yourself trying to eat them.

However, eating them is only half the fun. It appears that Tony used to play fast-pitch softball or baseball. He likes to deliver the rolls to your table from across the room. He announces, "Hot rolls! Hot rolls! What's up, what's up?" Everyone in the room puts their hands up, and Tony starts to deliver rolls with amazing speed and accuracy all across the room. The guy can project a roll at least 70 mph. Look sharp when Tony is around -- I once witnessed an unwary diner take a hot roll right in the back of the head.

The fun doesn't end there. The Patch has the best muffins I have ever eaten. They come right of the trays to your table in many varieties. They have butterscotch, peanut butter, blueberry and the famous chocolate chip. There always seems to be a shortage of chocolate chip, so grab them if you can.

The Patch wouldn't be a good Texas-style restaurant without, you guessed it, chicken fried steak. You can order it with a vegetable and potato, or you can get the all-you-can-eat version that comes with potatoes only. The serving is enormous, and it is the best chicken fried steak I have ever eaten.

The Patch also has great burgers, potatoes, steak and shrimp combos -- all sorts of homestyle cooking.

I think they have desserts there, but you will be so stuffed that the mere thought of them will probably make you sick.

The Patch is quite a trip, but it is certainly worth it. The quickest way to get there is via the Hardy Toll Road. Take 45 or 59 north to 610. If you go via 45, take 610 east about 2 miles. If you travel via 59, head west on 610 for about a mile. Take the toll road (bring some quarters) north for about 20 minutes. Exit on FM 1960 and head east. The Patch is about one mile on the right. Be sure to get there early, as the wait tends to get long. Happy dining.

This item appeared in the Arts & Entertainment section of the October 6, 1995 issue.

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