[[exclamdown]]BACKPAGé ABRöAD!

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What do you know about Rio? Well, let's bring you up to speed. A carioca is that very tan hunk or beauty that you will spend your time trying to meet. The word tonga translates to "thong," as in "thong-bikini." Unfortunately, guys wear them too. And unless you are a regular at Le Bare, that is bad news.

Here are some sly Portugese gems sure to catch the attention of that weekend love-to-be.

The Basics

These are perfect for that pretentious foreigner act we all assume while travelling.

Bom dia!

Good Day!

Boa tarde.

Good afternoon.

Oi! Como vai?

Hey, how's it going?

Muito bem, obrigado, -a.

Fine, thank you.

Pick-up Lines

The classic approach is a real charmer.

Como é seu nome?

What's your name?

Eu acabo de chegar em Rio. Conheço pouca gente aqui. Me passa o sal, por favor?

I've just arrived in Rio. I don't know many people here. Will you pass the salt, please?

Como está você, senhor(ita)?

How are you, baby?

I'm a Rich American

If your accent has not already tipped them off, there is no better way to impress the opposite sex in Rio than to announce your sheltered, wealthy North Americaness.

And why not speak nonsense at the same time? We've found that it's really endearing.

Puxa Batman!

Holy cow, Batman!

O meu nome é dinheiro. É você?

My name is "Money." And yours?

Eu sou o dono de VARIG.

I own the largest airline in Brasil.

O meu português é terrível. Mas o alemão de Jair é bom.

My Portugese is terrible. But Jair's German is good.

Eu acho que você é uma meia dúzia de açúcar.

I think you are a half dozen of sugar.

Cartõs de crédito. Muitos.

Credit cards. Lots of them.

The Fonnet Game

If you can't find love, find personal gratification through taunting the Brasilians with the fonnet game. You'll have an incredible advantage.

You: Você wanna pickle on it?

Them: O que?

You: Umaaaaiiiiiiiiiihhieeeeeee!!!

For more on the international rules for fonnetting, visit http://www.owlnet.rice.edu/~rtravis/2south/fonnet/fonnet.html.

This item appeared in the Backpage section of the October 13, 1995 issue.

Copyright © 1996 The Rice Thresher. All Rights Reserved.
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The Rice Thresher, Rice University, 6100 Main, Houston, TX 77005-1892, USA.