Don't try to sue us because Johnnie Cochran is a family friend misclass

---

-Dr. Hutchinson

"This concept of integration was discovered by our friend Newton. He's also the same guy who discovered Newton's Laws."

-Dr. Lopez, PHYS 101

"This term really blows!" Dr. Lesley Ward Math 211, Tuesday, October 10.

"Like European dominatrix are so much better, they obviousloy never dated an asian girl."

-- Hahn Lee (female asian senior from Jones)

While reading the sex ads in the back of the local paper.

"Yeah, Hahn Lee gets like that, you should have been there the time she walked into the lobby and screamed `I hate communists.'"

-- attemtped explanation of Hahn Lee by a freshman

"Is Tulsa in Oklahoma or something? I don't know, I failed geometry."

-- MOBster on the way to UT

"You can have the men, I want the lizards."

-- MOBster on the way home from UT

Student 1: "You know what'd be really cool? If today we had a giant

upright aardvark teaching class."

Student 2: "Don't we always?"

-- Overheard between classes

"I still have several suggestions from students, most of which I can put on the board."

-- Dr. Dunning in Phys 101

"Twat? Twat's snatch you say? I cunt hear you, I have an ear infucktion?"

-- Sheffy

"Their are so many new faces its like teaching a new class."

-- Dr.Vella on the day of the first test.

"If I'm going to spend $70 on a guy at Esperanza, I had better get some, dammit!"

-- Lovett sophmore female

"The drag force is going to have sex anal sex with me."

-- A freshman studying for PHYS 111 exam

On Flow Nets ...

"This is a different kind of square - it has five curved sides."

On QuickSand ..."

"If the soil gets quick, the building will fall, and many people

will die."

-- Wit & Wisdom from CIVI 470, better know as Soil Mechanics w/ Dakoulas:

"Is that fucked up or is that KTRU?"

-- Anonymous

"Well basically, its green paper, but wait, other countries don't use green paper, so colored paper, or actually, paper of color"

--Dr. Yi Econ375

"If you have some friends, you may lose a few, but enough will stay around for you to tell them how the economy runs"

--Dr. Yi Econ375

"Therefore, a horse with feathers on its back must be deemed for the purposes of this Act to be a bird, and a fortiori , a pony with feathers on its back is a small bird"

"Before you dismiss Regina v. Ojibway as completely frivolous, ask yourself, if oil can be a wild animal, why ca't a pony be a small bird?"

-- Handout from Dr. Brito's ECON 438 class

This item appeared in the Backpage section of the November 3, 1995 issue.

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