TRYING TO STEAL MY BIKE? ARE YOU AWARE OF THE CONSEQUENCES?

That's right you son of a bitch, your Death. We're watching you, so when you try to leave this campus, we'll be waiting there to strangle you with the chain you just cut. We first plan on tying you to the ground, and everybody who still has a bike will run over you several times. After that, who knows? We Rice students pride ourselves on our creativity and ingenuity. Then your next stop is hell where you will join the company of Albert Patrick and every other bastard who has messed with Rice.

This item appeared in the Backpage section of the November 17, 1995 issue.

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