`Real Real World' coffee-table book stops being polite, gets real

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by Packy Saunders

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The United States government regrets to inform you that your son is a part of the MTV generation.

Even though our household was not equipped with cable television, MTV did not escape me. Remember when I was in high school and would go to Kevin's house after football practice? You probably thought that we were doing corrupt things, but in reality we passed our time watching MTV and ESPN.

Speaking of reality, one of our favorite shows was MTV's "Real World."

Sort of like "Melrose Place," it was then and still is a program followed by idiots like my friend Kevin and me. The whole concept is to depict "the true story of seven strangers, picked to live in a house and have their lives taped to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real ..."

So I am hanging around the Thresher office, editing the usual dirty misclass, when the arts and entertainment editor asks me to review a book entitled The Real Real World .

To be honest Ma, I did not read it. Instead I took it home and put it on my desk. The usual afternoon room-traffic plopped down on the big, blue couch and read it for me.

It was suprising to see so many guys get hung-up on reading the book. My thoughts are that this book was not meant to be read but to be some college kid's coffee-table book or some hormone-driven 13-year-old girl's lust manual.

As a pictorial history, The Real Real World serves as a document of the happenings of four years of RW action. From New York to L.A. to Frisco to London, 30 people have lived the last four years in groups of seven, in front of your child.

The first group was nice and mixed well. Probably, they were not ready for the experience, and so they are the least memorable cast. But the 1993 L.A. members were ready. They knew what they were getting into and put on a volatile show for everybody. They had an ethnic and cultural mix whose representations bordered on hyperbole. That year really made the show move forward.

Possibly the best year ever was the stay in San Fran. Two reasons -- Pedro and Puck. Puck was supposed to be a white urban, counter-culture punk. He was an annoying phony. Puck didn't know when to quit. The group banished him, and MTV paid for his exile in a single apartment.

Pedro was the HIV positive Cuban who charmed America. In its attempt to be p.c., MTV celebrated his HIV and homosexuality more than his life. (MTV took a liberal slant in creating a liberal environment that constantly attacked the Chicana, Rachel, who was a Republican. MTV biased? Go figure.) But people saw through the production and grew to like him more than any other RW cast member. Even President Clinton gave attention to Pedro soon after his much-publicized death last year. The cast revered Pedro Zamora as a friend and HIV educator.

I can't say the same for the latest group of RW s. They were all tools along the same vein of the first group. They lacked the character and freshness of the first group of innocents.

The last part of the book shows some example applications from several of the past cast members. There's also a blank application just waiting to be filled out. Should I or shouldn't I? Nope. Why get paid to leave this paradise to live away from home with some freaks when I can pay $6,000 in room and board to do the same thing here?

Miss you, love you, see you at Christmas.

Your son, Patrick David Saunders

This item appeared in the Opinion section of the December 8, 1995 issue.

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