COLUMN: GM deserves praise, its brainchild deserves a chuckle
I NEVER thought it would really happen.
I had always figured it was a crazy pipe dream.
I did not believe I would live to see it become reality.
General Motors is beginning to mass-produce electric cars.
This isn't a joke. I saw the report on "ABC Nightly News," and if Peter Jennings says it, then it must be true.
The technology has been around for years. Numerous prototype electric cars have been constructed during the past two decades, only to be jeered at for their inefficiency and ugliness or to be held in awe as a peculiar, if not practical, novelty.
GM will be the first (and for all we know, maybe the last) car corporation to manufacture electric cars en masse for consumers.
Take a wild guess at how much this vehicle will cost. The price tag on this sucker is 30,000 bucks.
Let me say it again. Thirty-thousand bucks.
And let me tell you, it doesn't come standard with a Kenmore stereo, power locks, power windows, pin stripe or leather interior.
What kind of people are going to buy this car?
Sure, these cars are better for the environment and all that stuff.
That's great. I love the environment. I am totally in favor of decreasing automobile gas emissions and improving our air quality.
But, look, who can afford this self-propelled vacuum cleaner?
Even the most fanatical tree-huggers are going to be a little hard pressed to find enough goodness in their hearts to buy this white elephant.
Money and morals just don't agree on this issue. I wonder how GM is going to market this car. Imagine the advertisements. It reminds me of something I might see on "Saturday Night Live."
The TV commercials could depict Mom or Dad showing little Jane or little Jimmy how we protect the environment by recharging the car battery at the end of the day.
Then Chevy Chase, Eddie Murphy and Phil Hartman could appear driving their souped-up, hot-shot GM Electric Turbo, the sporty model that can break the 45 mph barrier.
Or something like that.
And think of the great publicity this car is going to give to battery manufacturers.
I bet the Energizer Bunny makes a comeback as the TV commercial hero of the year.
And did I mention that GM is planning to release this new product of theirs only in California and Arizona initially?
For a trial period, the GM big-wigs want to see how well it sells in "favorable markets." What's so special about Californians and Arizonans?
Why are they any more likely to buy this vehicle than New Yorkers or Floridians?
I bet there are more hills in Arizona than in Florida, and I don't expect this oversized Hot Wheels product to have an especially large engine or very remarkable acceleration. New York City and all of the northeastern metropolitan areas all have vehicle gas emission-related problems.
If, however, these cars do catch on and become popular, then surely we will have entered a new era.
No longer will we senselessly squander away our non-renewable resources.
No longer will we experience the delightful sites and smells of the corner gas station.
Never again will we be tempted to buy that bag of pork rinds sitting next to the cashier. How will we survive?
Despite what I may say about this electric car, I still must admit that I admire those guys over at GM.
Not the greedy executives. I mean the engineers and other individuals who had an idea to somehow improve the world and decided to give it all their time and energy.
Anyway, the dreamers and the engineers (often, but not always, the same people) are the guys who deserve our praise and admiration, regardless of whether GM ever nets a profit from this ridiculous car.
And who knows, perhaps one day you will go out and buy one of them yourself.
Gerald Falchook is a Sid Richardson College junior.
This item appeared in the Opinion section of the January 26, 1996 issue.
Copyright © 1996 The Rice Thresher. All Rights
Reserved.
This document may be distributed
electronically, provided that it is distributed in its entirety
and includes this notice. However, it cannot be reprinted
without the express written permission of:
The Rice
Thresher, Rice University, 6100 Main, Houston, TX, 77005, USA.
The Thresher Online Project -- ethresh@rice.edu