FANCY BOXED MISCLASS

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"Everyone who's asleep, raise your hand ... good."

-- COMP labbie.

"I like it with a candle in the dark."

-- Overheard at Jones College during recent campus power outage.

"I wanna do it so hard I black out."

-- Wiess Junior.

Maybe you should hang out at Jones more often?

"I'm a man of the '90s. If I don't have to shave my legs, then neither does my girlfriend."

-- Lady Owl swimmer's boyfriend.

"My bowels, my bowels! I am pained at my very heart."

-- Jeremiah 4:19.

Next time, try a Sammy's tuna melt.

"Anyone coming to lab Wednesday night? ... you are obviously in need of a life."

-- Dr. Bennett, ELEC 201.

Student: "What's that on your tie?"

Dr. Bennett: "Uh, art."

-- ELEC 201.

Prof: "One squared is one, OK?"

Student: "Will that be on the test?"

-- MATH 102.

Damn pre-meds!

TFW Limericks

There once was a college called Wiess,

Filled with all things delighful and nice.

Moral and structural decay then set in,

And after some tonic and gin,

The university sought an architect's advice.

From the Founder's Room 'twas decided,

"Easier to conquer when divided."

So from bottom to top they toiled,

Tearing down the college thought spoiled,

Leaving master and students uninvited.

This item appeared in the Backpage section of the February 9, 1996 issue.

Copyright © 1996 The Rice Thresher. All Rights Reserved.
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