Scream for Jimi misclass

---

"Reproduction should not involve the gratuitous use of power tools."

-- Some Lovett freak at W.A.R.P.

Welcome, visitors, to the Twilight Zone .

"I've been imitated so well I've heard people copy my mistakes."

-- Jimi.

Does the Honor Council know about this, Mr. Hendrix?

"Hey Carolyn, do you have a light?"

-- Drunken WRC senior to Josie Gill.

"Well, at least I knew you were a Gill."

-- Same drunk guy.

"If you step back and look at the data, the optimum amount of red meat you eat should be zero."

-- Walter Willett, M.D., director of a study that found a close correlation between red meat consumption and colon cancer.

"I hope nobody realizes that my pants are unzipped."

-- Jones sophomore eating ribs at Luther's.

"Do you have room for a brother on your planet?"

-- Li'l Penny to Shaq.

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!) but `That's funny ... '"

-- Isaac Asimov.

Wrong, Isaac. Think "multiple choice, noncumulative final ."

"Y'know, I can sell these back to the bookstore and drink beer tonight."

-- Dr. Ensor, STAT 280.

"Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!"

-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche.

"I'll just swing by Fiesta and get a half-gallon of gin."

-- Dr. Ensor, STAT 280.

"You've got to give people something to dream on."

-- Jimi.

This item appeared in the Backpage section of the February 16, 1996 issue.

Copyright © 1996 The Rice Thresher. All Rights Reserved.
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