Disney presents one-dimensional Muppets in 'Island'


RATING: *

by Dan McDermon

In the interest of anyone who ever finds himself in a similar situation, I'd like to point out that people are inordinately suspicious of adult males who go to children's movies by themselves. If you're ever in such a predicament, believe me, it's worth the effort to find someone to go with you.

For the first time, I feel an odd pressure in reviewing a film to say that it's better than it is. A Muppet movie, is, after all, not just another kiddie flick. Or so I thought.

Muppet Treasure Island opens with surprising violence, as a pirate captain guns down the crew which has buried his booty. We quickly segue into the easily recognizable scenario of Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island : Young Jim Hawkins (played by Kevin Bishop) takes possession of a pirate's treasure map and sets out on a ship to find it.

Accompanying Hawkins are his best friends, familiar Muppet characters Rizzo the Rat and Gonzo, self-described as a "Whatever." Bankrolling the operation is the "rich, half-wit son of Squire Trelawney" (played by Fozzie Bear).

The young squire has a penchant for adventure and for consulting with the little man, whom he claims resides in his thumb. With the financing in place, the three mates set about organizing the expedition.

They acquire a ship, crew and captain and are off to sea. With Kermit the Frog as captain and Sam the Eagle as first mate, things at first seem to be well in hand.

But the crew, assembled largely by the ship's sinister one-legged cook (Tim Curry plays Long John Silver), mutinies in order to steal the treasure for themselves.

Of course, it's all familiar; Disney made a much better non-Muppet movie of this in 1950. As a Muppet supporter, I think this film should have been better.

It seems like the Disney execs felt they had to make this into yet another retread of The Little Mermaid Lion King Meets Pocahontas in hopes of making it a blockbuster. Instead it's just a bust.

The musical numbers sound like calculated attempts to market a best-selling soundtrack, rather than exposing a mood or even being entertaining. The approach makes it seem like the characters are subordinated to the merchandising scheme.

Am I taking this too seriously? I believe that all things Muppet should be taken with a healthy dose of irony. That's what made their old syndicated variety show fun for grown-ups as well as kids.

But despite the asides and non sequiturs, the filmmakers are clearly going for the kind of flash that keeps kids pacified, rather than enraptured. Adults, meanwhile, are left to ponder the far greater Muppet movies of years past.

I didn't expect explosions. I didn't need explosions. I didn't want explosions. But that's what I got -- by the handful.

All the old characters (from Dr. Teeth and his band to the Swedish Chef) are here, with some new ones in the background, but they hardly have the chance to be themselves.

And they are the reason I went, braving the frightened parents and squealing kids. I can't speak for the younger audience, but these are not the Muppets of old -- not the friends I remember. And that makes Muppet Treasure Island tremendously disappointing.


This item appeared in the Arts & Entertainment section of the February 23, 1996 issue.


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