For the Owls ...

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We here at the Backpage want your Owl Day visit to be as fun as possible. So if any of you hormonal volcanoes are looking to hook up, here are some lines that may work ...

For girls: "Hi! I don't go to school here."

For guys: "I got a crisp $50 bill and a case of Zima back at the college."

For girls: "Wow, I'm reeaallly drunk." You don't actually have to say this; men know .

For guys: "The other half of my pitcher is all yours."

For girls: "I own the Guiness record for tongue length."

For guys: "I'm an Owl, so you won't have to worry about any itchy pubic hair with me."

If you strike out with these lines but are still desperate to score, find Bob Truscott and tell him you're under 18. It's a sure thing, baby, and you don't even have to show him ID. (But if you see a pissed-off redhead coming toward you -- RUN! Run like the wind!)

--Brought to you by the Backpage: Quality journalism since the day Packy left.

This item appeared in the Backpage section of the April 19, 1996 issue.

Copyright © 1996 The Rice Thresher. All Rights Reserved.
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