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| J. Dennis Huston for Homecoming Queen |
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Timeless in taffeta, that is our Dennis. Most Rice people
are unaware of J. Dennis Huston's illustrious beauty pageant past. It has
always been our belief that Dennis wanted another shot at immortality in the
world of pageantry. After ascending in the academic ranks from doctoral
candidate to full professorship and receiving numerous teaching awards, only
one thing has eluded Dennis: a proper crowning.
Now Dennis won't admit the heartbreak of second place in the 1961 Wesleyan University Honey Bee Faire. With all the grace the title implies, Dennis accepted the Honey Bee Duchess sash and conciliatory velvet crown. ("It looks like something from a damn Crown Royal ad," Dennis later shouted.) Ronald Stoutman, then a Wesleyan senior, took home the tiara after a controversial win by one vote in the balloting. That bastard. Forget the wild animals and ex-governors this year. To hell with the Transco Tower and Smiley the drunken owl. This year is the year to honor a true Rice legend and exorcise the demons of the Honey Bee Faire past. When you select your Homecoming Queen this week, think of the biggest honey from Hanszen -- no, not Carrie Covington, you fool -- Dennis, J. Dennis, J. Dennis Huston. Sincerely, Los BPEs
This item appeared in the Backpage section of the October 30, 1997 issue. |
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