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The Rice Thresher
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Are they laughing with me or at me? This is the first presidential election that I have a chance to vote in. If the next one is this bad, I swear I'm moving to Canada. Decision 2000 has basically been one big, unexciting letdown after another. Any more of this, and I could lapse into a coma. Things started going wrong in the primaries. The two candidates who actually had ideas, Bill Bradley and John McCain, didn't get the nod from their parties. After Super Tuesday, the masses took a nap for the almost half a year before the political conventions. These prime time thrillers turned out to be 20 hours that no one who watched will ever get back. Philadelphia and Los Angeles were nothing more than ceremonial infomercials. Protesters outside the convention halls participated in the only democratic processes. Around this time, Al Gore and George W. Bush also picked vice presidents. They did such a good job choosing running mates that I wondered why Dick Cheney and Joe Lieberman weren't heading up their respective party's ticket. After Labor Day, things were really supposed to get rolling. They didn't. The polls showed a dead heat. What they didn't show was how many Americans would have chosen "C, none of the above," as an option. Then the debates began. For the most part, these were hour and a half commercials for the candidates. There were several times in each contest when Bush or Gore would forget that the other was there and launch into a stump speech completely unrelated to the issue being discussed. These so-called "fights" were way too clean. I've seen more verbal altercations in Sunday school class. Both candidates were nice and cordial. If someone had thought to bring a checkered tablecloth, they could have had a picnic with moderator Jim Lehrer. At the end of each debate, you could almost see the collective "what the hell just happened?" on the face of the undecided voters in the audience. All of this could have easily been avoided if third party candidates had been invited. The extreme views of Ralph Nader and Pat Buchanan would have mixed up the debates quite nicely. If nothing else, a four-ring circus would have been more entertaining than the bridge game the debates turned out to be. So here we are at Election Day with one question still unanswered: Isn't the president of the United States supposed to be an extraordinary individual? The next administration will probably be about as exciting as Calvin Coolidge's. Neither candidate appears to be made of the stuff that is celebrated in history books. Bush is - what's the nicest way to put this - a little slow on the uptake. There's a lot of responsibility in the presidency, and no matter how many smart advisers you have, sooner or later you have to think on your feet. And unlike the debates, Bush won't always have a week to memorize a script if he is elected. Gore is a smart man with a lot of experience doing what the president actually does. However, I'm kind of upset that he's distanced himself so much from the man who got him where he is: Bill Clinton. It's very doubtful that Gore would be where he is now if he hadn't been the running mate of a very successful president. But, in the end, I'm going to vote for Al. Besides the fact that I'm from Illinois, where my vote will actually count, there are a few small differences between the Democratic and Republican Parties that I can't quite get over. Mainly, it's the feeling I get that the Republicans are interested in looking out for rich white people and conveniently forgetting everyone else. Plus, I don't want to even imagine what Dubya would do in the driver's seat of all 50 states. This column may have been confusing, and I guess that's because I'm pretty disillusioned right now. I grew up hearing how important our government is, and how it is everyone's responsibility and privilege to vote. I remember standing in line with my parents at the polls for hours while they waited to vote, and I looked forward to someday doing the same. Now that I can finally participate in a presidential election, I don't have the feeling of pride and purpose I thought I'd have. Oh well, I guess waiting four more years won't kill me.
Michael Nalepa is opinion editor and a Lovett College senior.
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